bothsxdes Turns a Difficult Few Months Into ‘stillalive’
On ‘stillalive’, bothsxdes turns injury, heartbreak and uncertainty into a self-produced single built around recognising destructive habits and moving through them.
For bothsxdes, stillalive started during a period when several parts of his life seemed to be moving in the wrong direction at once. A broken arm from skating arrived alongside a difficult breakup, moving back to his parents’ house and uncertainty around where music was taking him.
Now released as a two-minute single, the track grew directly from that period and from the self-destructive tendencies bothsxdes began recognising in himself.
“In late October, I broke my arm skating. This came at the same time as a difficult breakup, moving back to my parents’ and a lot of uncertainty in my life and musical path,” he explains.
“This song was mostly me realising the self destructive tendencies I have and putting everything on paper.”
While the circumstances behind stillalive were largely outside his control, the recording process was not. bothsxdes produced, mixed and mastered the single himself, continuing the DIY approach already established across his debut EP, wholehearted.
Released in June, the five-track project was written, produced, recorded, mixed and mastered from his bedroom. It introduced an artist comfortable handling the entire process himself, with indie-rock at the centre of music that also pulls from pop and R&B.
That level of control matters more on stillalive because of where the song came from. Rather than a broader coming-of-age theme or relationship story, bothsxdes has tied the record to a specific period of injury, heartbreak and doubt about his musical direction.
His intention extends beyond documenting it.
“I’d love for everyone listening to not feel alone with those overwhelming feelings,” he says. “These emotions don’t last forever, they’re very intense but once you get out of them, you’ll be the best version of yourself yet!”
stillalive follows bothsxdes’ first headline show at Folklore in Hoxton earlier this year and continues a run of releases built largely under his own control.
Here, though, the personal circumstances carry most of the weight. The song came from a period where bothsxdes was questioning where he was heading, and his response was to put those thoughts down honestly and make the record himself from beginning to end.
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